My Education: K - 8

you set me up from early childhood for the pain and disappointment and lifelong gut-wrenching foreboding i have felt every day since you are the kindergarten teacher who didn’t deserve her job you are the first grade teacher who silently watched me cry because there was no chair for me and then brought it up at the parent teacher conference like you were some kind of hero you are the fifth grade teacher who was clearly repulsed by me even the student teacher noticed i have her college paper to back that shit up you are the two sixth grade teachers who really pissed me off i mean who throws desks across the room and keeps their job who shuts the water off and takes the clock off the wall and yells at me because i can’t hear you bastards took the one bright hope I held on to when you booted me out of honors english six years of girl scouts and i see a hint of embarrassment when you realize that in your piles of hundreds of pictures i somehow never made it into any of them so you hand me a blurry one of audrey and tell me that she is me you are the same girl scout leaders that forced me to be in your play who years later still found my stage fright amusing you are the concerned junior high teachers who in their brilliance decided i needed therapy because all the other kids made fun of me you are those junior high kids hitting me in the head with books and rulers while said teachers pretended not to notice you put the trouble maker kids in my group as a punishment for them you made the whole class stay after that is everyone but me you don’t have the decency to hide the contempt on your face and you don’t wait until i’m out of sight before you silently mouth to your fellow teacher who is that girl you actually hate me don’t you and why exactly did you go into this profession
you are my tears and nightmares but you make a hell of an angst ridden story and it’s for that reason and that reason alone that you breathe but i hope when the day comes when you are close to your last breath you remember a young me and know that although you die a failure your life was worth living if only to provide a spark in the molding of a beautiful unique soul yeah i mean me.